This past week has really flown by. I think I'm finally ready to sit down and write, although the bulk of my thoughts is a little overwhelming. I apologize in advance for the quality of my writing, no doubt this is going to be a little disorganized and sort of run-of-the-mouth. Whenever I think about what happened, I just get this whirlwind of thoughts and stuff just starts spewing out, lol.
Well this time, one week ago, I was driving over to the hospital to be induced. I had started going into labor naturally Saturday night and was well on my way, but unfortunately it slowed down overnight, and by Sunday night it had come to a complete crawl. I have no idea why... maybe Micah changed his mind! Monday morning I had a doctor's appointment anyway, so I went in and explained the whole situation. By this point I was completely exhausted and at my wits end. Labor would start up again for a few hours and then quit again all weekend - and every time was such an emotional letdown. I was so ready to get this baby out!! My doctor was really understanding, and he prescribed a low dose of Pitocin to get my labor back on track.
When I got to the hospital, they put me on IV fluids for a little while before my doctor called in the dosage for the Pit. They started the Pit around 1pm and warned me it might take quite a while to start working. Five minutes later I was having painful contractions. I was smiling from ear to ear! I bet they never saw someone so happy to be in pain. Within a couple of hours, I had to really buckle down and focus to get through each contraction. I used the Bradley method, which basically involves completely relaxing the body and breathing normally and evenly. I thought of each contraction as pressure, rather than pain, and focused my mind on moving the baby down. It worked really well! The nurse couldn't even tell when I was having a contraction without looking at the monitor because it looked like I was asleep (I was definitely not sleeping!).
I started out swaying and squatting through each contraction, but then I had to be moved to the bed because Micah was showing distress during each contraction. Leaning to the right and back about halfway, supported with about 10 pillows, I spent the next couple of hours just breathing through each contraction, one at a time. Around 5pm the doctor came by to check on my progress and break my water. Can I just say that is the grossest feeling EVER!!?? LOL. Well I was sitting around 4 centimeters (I had started out at 2) and the doctor figured I might have Micah around midnight. Over the next few hours they kept reducing my dose of Pitocin because the contractions got insane after my water broke. The doctor came back to check me around 7, I think (it was hard to keep track of time) and I had dilated to 6. My doctor went home since I had a ways to go. They were still figuring midnight or 1am. The nurse would notify him when I was close.
Now somewhere between that last check and 8pm I managed to dilate the remaining 4 centimeters. The average progress for a first time mom is 1 centimeter or less per hour. I dilated 4 centimeters in one hour! The pain had become unbearable, I was getting the urge to push, and I was asking the nurse for the shot to take the edge off. I was unaware that I was already "done." I thought I had a ways to go and I was losing steam. She checked me and got a shocked look on her face. "Honey, your cervix is gone!" I was fully dialated!! Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, it was over and I was finally going to get to push. No wonder the pain was so bad, I had hit the absolute peak. It would be easier from this point on. Once you're dilated, the contractions aren't nearly as painful and the breaks are longer, but the urge to push is stronger than you could ever imagine!! It felt similar to the way your lungs feel when you've been holding your breath under water for too long, and they're trying to gasp in air anyway. It was crazy!! There was only one problem....
Remember what I mentioned earlier? My doctor had just gone home!!!
They called him, but it was going to be 20 minutes before he would arrive. That would end up being the worst 20 minutes of the entire labor and delivery process. The nurse let me push once to see how productive of a pusher I was. If I was moving slow, I could continue to push while we waited for the doctor. I pushed and her hand got shoved down like an inch and a half. I yelled out, "I'm pooping! I'm pooping!" and she said, "no that's not poop, that's the baby's head!" I still can't believe I yelled that out, how embarrassing! The nurse said, "He's coming too fast. I'm sorry but you're going to have to try really hard and not push. Blow it out!" Oh my gosh, I had to do a tarzan yell practically to keep from pushing. Then I was in complete transition and I started shivering uncontrollably - it was really weird. I kept asking "is the docter here yet?" My body started pushing for me at this point. I watched my stomach rise up into a fist, and then slam down - strangest thing I've ever seen! Meanwhile I was literaly writhing in the bed. I managed to push down all the sheets to the foot of the bed as I was practically doing the crab walk backwards to keep this kid from coming out too soon. I even tried crossing my legs, ha! The nurses were running around the room like maniacs trying to get everything ready. The doctor finally arrived and was changing into his scrubs, so the nurse said I could start pushing again. All of a sudden, my husband said, "what is that!?" His head was coming out by itself!! The doctor swooshed in and we got down to some serious pushing. It was such hard work, but let me tell you, it felt good! The pain of a contraction would come on, and the harder I pushed, the less it would hurt. The pain would almost completely disapear and all I could feel was Micah's head moving down and the burning as he crowned. I started to get really tired so I asked how much longer I had to go. In response, my docter asked me if I'd like to touch his head! It was music to my ears! I reached down and I could feel his soft little hair - I was so overcome with emotion and it was the exact motivation I needed to push even harder with the next contraction. The doctor exclaimed what a good pusher I was - almost too good - I kept having to pause while he prepped the area for an episiotomy. I was definitely going to tear - Micah's head is 14 inches around. He did the episiotomy, which felt like a mere bee sting under all the pressure, and then Micah's head practically came flying out. Eric was like, "whoa!!" He looked like a little sumo wrestler since all the fat was pushed up around his neck. He was face-up so I could see him. Haha! Then the first shoulder came out, then the second, then suddenly his whole body slithered out. He immediately pooped all over the floor! Haha! This little boy could not come out fast enough and the first thing he did was poop!! What a silly. They wiped him off and immediately they put him on my chest. He cried for a few more seconds and then he just cuddled himself into my chest and got quiet. Eric got to cut the cord. They finished toweling him off while he laid there and then took him over to the table to weigh him and do the Apgar test - he got an 8 and 9. They did have to suck out a bunch of amniotic fluid that he had swallowed as he was coming out - but he ended up being just fine. A few minutes later, I felt my gut lunge again and the placenta came out. That was pretty gross looking! While they were fixing him up the doctor sewed me back up. Finally they brought him back all bundled up and I got to hold him. I was so relieved and so thrilled. I couldn't believe how good I felt - all the pain of labor and delivery had completely disappeared once he came out. I felt so loose and relaxed.
I feel like I'm missing details - I know I am - but it all happened so fast that it's hard to recount. I only pushed for a half hour and it felt like 5 minutes to me. The whole thing took 8 hours - he was born at 8:56 - but it felt like it had only lasted a couple of hours. It was such a whirlwind experience. When I think about it now, I still get all pumped about it -- I had so much adrenaline running through me afterward that I only slept 2 hours that night. I didn't even get tired until later the next day because it felt like I had gotten a huge dose of caffeine. It wasn't until 2 days later that I felt the effects off labor on my body - it felt like I had run a marathon!
Wow. I'm still in awe that I actually pushed a kid out. I would definitely do it without pain medication again. Micah got an excellent start on nursing and the lactation nurse said it was because I didn't have the epidural - he was nice and alert. Plus, afterward I felt such a sense of accomplishment, since it was definitely the most challenging thing I've ever done. My husband was so proud of me, and that made it all worth it to see the look on his face. He kept telling me, "you're handling this so well!" People said - "you don't get a trophy for going natural" but I have to say I disagree - the praise I got from the medical team and my husband was better than any trophy and such a huge boost to my self esteem. I think any woman can give birth without meds if she believes in herself and the people around her support her. Women are strong! Stronger than they often think they are, so my advice to you is "you can do it!" If you are going to have a baby in the near future, I'm confident you can do it and you won't regret it. When you think you can't take it anymore, hang it there, it's likely you're ready to push anyway, lol. It's good for your baby, too!
One thing I was curious to find out before going into labor was how the pain would compare to my back injury. As I suspected, the pain of labor was not as bad as my back spasms were two years ago. It was more of an intense pressure than the searing pain I had expected. The breaks between contractions allowed me to recoup throughout. After all the hype I heard, I kept expecting it to hurt more than it did. I kept waiting for it to get worse, and when the pain peaked, it was the thought of it getting worse that nearly broke my resolve, not the pain itself. It seems like labor pain pushes you to your limits, but not over, at least that was my experience.
